Despite my best attempts to be a DPS paladin, I got recruited to tank HoX.

Well I knew it had to happen...

Something about my 710 hitpoints in Siberys stance  makes me look tanky. But I warned 'em. I said I'd be happy to park my hitpoints in front of Xy'zzy but I'm not geared to intimidate, I didn't even own any intimidate items! "Oh no problem!" they said just get a tower shield and some +intimidate gear and we'll meet you in the Subterrane.

I ran to the auction house and bought some stuff, crafted an intimidate ring but paid AH prices for a tower shield since I couldn't craft as high as what they were selling. Then I ran to the Sub and discovered they left without me. It seems to me that a lack of impulse control never bodes well for a raid. But then again, I knew that it was impossible for a strong an organized group to end up with me as a tank, and so I ran deep into the ancient hallways full of mystery, inky darkness and... RESPAWNS!

And of course since I'm in my Tanking gear I can't hit anything. So, I began the long and difficult task of swapping back into my DPS gear while self healing and fighting my way through a 12 man Raid wilderness. I punch above my weight as a soloer but this was very slow going. After a while I fight past the respawns, but then a "helpful" party member orders me down the wrong path and into the wrong portal. I haven't been to HoX in the last year so how should I know? A while later, I'm back at the start, clearing trash.

Meanwhile the raid is tired of waiting for me. Someone leaps in on normal. "We can do it on normal!" The monks scoff, "sure it's possible" they say, but they're only there for the loot that drops on Hard and up. Finaly, I meet up with some of the raid guys and we fight through the respawns to the portal. There's some buffing, some dire warnings about puppies, and we're off.

Still no instructions for me becides "buy a tower shield" and I haven't had time to check the wiki. In hindsight, I shoulda bought some solid fog clickies or even dug out all those solid fog potions from my TR Cache. But instead there I am with my 41 unbuffed Intimidate and bee spitting dog the size of an asian elephant. At first it goes really well. I'm tumbling around with my Feat: mobility boots avoiding death and kiting all the dogs. Not great, but my trusty healer sidekick is keeping me healed up, well, not letting me die. But my hitpoints keep dropping so low, I keep using up my emergency heals, I'm certain that he's gonna let me die. My self heals arn't working. This is the first time that's happened, I think it's because I don't have the concentration to heal through the agony that these dogs are putting me through.

Then, far off in the distance, almost like a dream I hear the far away sound of onrushing  fail. Or rather, see it in green type.

I Stone NW.

Who took the stone?

Then there's a little mini drama that unfolds. We've got two designated stone runners but there can be only one. Who says there's no roleplaying in DDO? It takes some time, but we're all friends now. It was just a simple miscommunication, but now they've given the stone to the guy who has augmented summoning and bees are eating my face aaah!

And then I died.

I thought it was a big deal, but the healer? Not so much. He focused on healing the dogs exclusively. I haunted him but no dice. A while later someone came by and tossed me a raise. But  my post mortem Intimidates arn't working. A reaver, one of the really big ones that are native to this raid comes in and attacks the healer. I pull the reaver with an intimidate but I can't fight back with all this tanking gear on. Finaly, someone FoDs the reaver, and I'm back to failing to intimitanking the dogs.

I look at my heals. I've got zero lay on hands, and my undying soverignty is on a cooldown. Amazingly, I died in that interlude between activating it and getting healed. I do have a bunch of mana for CSW, they hit for 250 with Superior IV Devotion running, but I know from experience that I can't count on them when the dogs are attacking me. 

Not that it matters. We're right at the mark where Xyzzy is vulnerable except that there are two dogs left and only one is charmed. A nec FoDs the uncharmed puppy. I don't understand that strategy. After all the shouting about not killing puppies and now killing them? But no time to get all philosophical,  Xyzzy kills the charmed puppy. And now I'm tanking again.

Except, for whatever reason Xyzzy has absolutely no interest in me. She overruns me as she races from caster to caster. I start to feel embarrased, I mean I can understand that my intimidates are low what with no buffs and a death penalty, but I'm not even worth biting?

Well, turns out she'd bite me if I was the last raider in line of sight. Gee thanks.

Time slows down, and... no, not time, it's just lag. Anyway lag happens I kite the dog for a while and then die before I can rez anyone with my greensteel pos/pos.

It was very sad. But there was no-post raid blaming. I think the whole run was so messy, no one wanted to broach the subject. I wanted to stay and run a second time but my kids made me a father's day breakfast, vegan french toast (because eggs are friends not food! my 4 yo son reminds me) so I bid farewell and spare them the akward task of demoting me to the kill team.

Not that I would have minded the kill team. Really, this is a DPS build.