A New Invasion -- What in The Flame?!

I learned something new this weekend: change DNS to 8.8.8.8 and Google fixes DDO.

And so with the putrid taste of learning still lingering in mouth I logged into DDO. Checked LFMs... Master Artificer! I still haven't played that raid but I've really been looking forward to experiencing it and aquiring some Alchemical weapons. I joined and cleared the wilderness area but couldn't get in. Share-guy announced I hadn't flagged yet. I coulda sworn that I had finished all three flagging quests but I couldn't get in the door. I finished out and learned was merely a simple oversight, I needed to turn in a Schemes of the Enemy and then talk to another NPC. But I got kicked in favor of a guildy. Stupid learning.

But not a big deal. I can run it some other time and anyway, Against the Demon Queen was filling. Ran into the sands wilderness for the preraid and crashed. Logged back in and I was kicked out of the group. "Sorry, we're already started."

Then I joined a group that was secretly already in progress (thanks for not telling me guys!) Moments later, it exploded in profanity and ended in rage quitting. So I went off to solo the very very easy quest Raiding the Giant's Vault. Stepped inside and the two dork-sorcerers that I always zerg past conspired to neg level me to death. Not my best DDO day.

Some people say that when a day gives gives you lemons, make lemonade. My method is to get it over with ASAP. Get 'er done! This strategy works well with removing bandages, taking a handfull of pills, and swimming in cold water. And today was definitely a lemon kinda day on DDO.

So what's the most unpleasant DDO activity I can think of? Vault of the Artificers? Farming Dragon Touched runes? Clearing out my TR cache? Crafting? Strong candidates but not even close to my own personal hell: A New Invasion.

I had considered letting it slide. Doing it next life. But I really would like to flag for ToD -- I'd kill for a shot at more rings and tomes.

So I put up a LFM and instantly a Bard joined. Very friendly and talkative. "This is an easy quest" he promised. He guarenteed we would complete if I could do the teensy tiny favor of including an arcane. A Wizard pale master joined and the two of them entered on casual.

As I ran through the wilderness to catch up he explained how he would beat what is for me, the most un-meleeable boss fight in all of DDO. His plan was "Always follow the left wall and then go down portals and holes." "Thanks but I don't have problem with the maze" I said, "I have a problem with the crazy traps at the end fight." The caster asked a bunch of questions because this was his very first time in A New Invasion.

The Bard explains the plan but the wizard says he hasn't even heard of a spell called "Dots."

We're doomed.

DOOOOOOOMED!

But after some learning, he knows that Damage Over Time = DOTs. This lemon of a day must be learning day.

The trash fights were challenging for our trio. The Air Elementals throw us. The buggy Dungeon Alert slows us down. Our pale master dies twice but I've got just enough rez clickies (Green steel Pos/Pos/cheapscate) to get him up again.

Then a Red Named beholder gazes me, neg-levels me just short of death. I sure wish I hadn't swapped Hunter of the Dead for Defender of Siberys -- that negitive level immunity was so convinient. But we survive and loot the chest over his dead body.

It's a fun group. We tease the Bard for being a lousy cleric -- He doesn't have remove neg levels. And I'm enjoying my lemony run so much I'm looking forward to running Bastion of Power again for fun. But we reach the end.

We're standing around a hole. The Bard's plan is revealed in all it's glory. We buff our Pale Master and toss him down the hole. The bard sends me a private message: "And if he dies, you jump down and grab his soulstone and escape via my DDoor."

I keep saying that pitfiends are immune to acid and fire, but the Bard says it's just immune to fire. He's done it before a million times on his other character. I asked if his other character was a pale master, like our wizard is. Bard says "no."

We watch our wizard's HP bar. It drops twenty points and then fills up again. Then we wait. After what seems like several miniutes pass, the PM writes that the endboss is immune to everything. They're locked in an eternal stalemate except that we've got families and jobs and school and stuff but Barnzidu the pit fiend just lives in his basement inventing crazy half baked traps.

Then it hits me. This guy is the closest thing ddo has to a gnome.

Some people say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. But I say.... oh right we already did that part. CHARGE! I jump down the hole to certain doom. The traps are horrible. But if I avoid the traps I cheat myself out of a chance to hurt Barnzidu. I tried that for a while and used my remove curse spell until I ran out of mana. Then the bard cast DDoor and we fled. Barnzidu was still at 90% health.

The Bard is surprised the Pale Master had trouble. It's never been a problem for him on his Favored Soul. Turns out light damage is kinda different than acid damage.

I discover that I got a bunch of neg levels from fighting Barnzidu. Again I wish I had kept Hunter of the Dead.

We could have waited a while but we stuck with my "all the lemons right now" plan.(Or as Paladins say "All the lemons in the flame right in the flame now!")

I hit Barnzidu with everything I had. I didn't even bother running from tile to tile every 2-4 seconds. I took damage with every trap detonation. I figured at this rate I would last for about twenty seconds.

I was right.

As I was nearing death using my very last Lay on Hands, I glanced at the HUD and saw a curious thing... Barnzidu was at 10% health. Two seconds later he died.

Celebration! Rejoicing! Humorous emoting! Expressing disbelief and shock! We looted the chests, the Pale master got a named belt. At the same time, a new guy, a 19 Paladin hit my LFM. I accept him to spare myself the ordeal of spelling his name. I type in party chat: "Sorry, we just finished".

"What in the flame?!" He shouts. "I hate that what in the flame quest!"

(No, he didn't really say "in the flame" but that's what he would have said instead if he had been a real paladin.)