TR1: Return to house K

I haven't played f2p house K quests in over a year. My main was level 20 and farming high end content. My alts were favor dashing in the harbor and market place. But now my TR Dwarf Paladin is level 7 and ready to return to House Kundarak.

What a difference a TR makes!

Last time I was here the traps were deadly "These tarps hit for ONEHUNDRED DAMAGE on elite!!!! Truely, these traps must be of Dwarven manufacture!" But this life they're only deadly if I get hit twice in a row.

Last time I had no elemental resistances of my own, but now I've got 30/30/30/30 thanks to the Defenders Guild Airship.

Last time I was always afraid of running into yet another skeleton because my weapons were so cruddy: a flame touched light hammer of bone breaking (i.e. a Dex debuff that skeletons are immune to) and a sonic longsword. Now I've got TWO silver warhammers of Holy undead bane and I wish that DDO had MORE undead. :D

But it's not all good. Last life I had maxed out my jump skill so I could leap out of danger. But this life I've got no jump at all, and heavy plate, and a blend of charisma and strength so when I'm flanked, I gotta cut my way out.

So anyway the story of my hubris and comeuppance:
I was on easystreet. I jumpped throught the traps and clobbered everything with my warhammers, which work great on undead and good on anything evil. When my kids woke up, I turned off the computer and switched to my wife's netbook so I could play while I supervised the eating of the baby-safe muffins in the playroom.

Anyway, I was bored out of my skull waiting for the Artificer. She'd fail to disarm the trap, die, res out, and die on the next trap. But was that slow enough? Nooo! Then she stopped to chastise us for trying such an insanely difficult quest. "You're insane! You'll never reach the end!" She screached into the mic while we were, in fact, standing at the end waiting for her to catch up.

So I decided to have a little fun. Feigning ignorance, I asked "What's so hard about this quest? The traps only hit for a hundred damage." That set her off for realz but the babies were making a mess with the baby-muffins so I went afk.

When I returned to a TPK in process. The artificer was unconcious so I sent her my Unyielding Soverignty. After all, the only thing funnier than a 50 HP tough guy is 3000 HP of hjeals. But by mistake I hit myself with the healing and the artificer died, ruining the joke.

Despite my hubris I recognized that this many Drow on an epic quest well above my level was gonna be dangerous. So I backed away, cast a cure on the Monk just before he died and summoned my elemental. But something strange happened.

A webpaged popped up and minimized DDO. It proclamed "Did you know that Hewlet Packard invented the Cloud? Now you can enjoy Hewlet Packard's latest invention for free if you pay now!" I swapped back to DDO and noted with dismay that everyone had died except for me. So I clicked on my Cannith Crystal Summon again and watched the casting animation. I tried to jump away, but my newly TRed Paladin can't jump like he could when he was a Ranger. So I was stuck face to groin with a mob of angry drow cultists. I tried to heal myself but I couldn't. That's when I figured it out. My wife's laptop has a special shift key for F-Keys . While I was trying to send out heals, I was actualy turning down the audio and requesting to learn more about HP cloud.

Awash in knowledge I died.

But it was not all in vain, the artificer had a laugh at our fail, and I hope you, kind reader, have a hoot too.